When option A does not work, then you have to kick the sh*it out of option B. That’s the sage advice Facebook’s COO (and one of the most inspiring, respected woman in digital) Sheryl Sandberg gave to the UC Berkeley graduating class of 2016 in a moving speech from the heart. Rather than focus on how to find success, Sandberg shared her own real-life tips on how to recover from the depths of despair and why life’s difficult moments makes us stronger in the long run.
Sandberg spoke for the first time in public about how the sudden death of her husband just one year ago turned her life upside down and brought her to the darkest moments she’s been faced with. Children. Work. Friends. Family. Depression. Nothing was the same without her husband, yet life around her moved on and Sandberg shared how she picked up the pieces by using some psychological methodology from her peers in Silicon Valley.
“I’m pleased to tell you there is data to learn from. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship. The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives,” Sandberg told the crowd at UC Berkeley.
The 3 P’s on How People Deal with Setbacks
1.Personalization—the belief that we are at fault. This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do. This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.
“Not taking failures personally allows us to recover and even to thrive.” — Sheryl Sandberg
2. Pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness
“The belief that an event will affect all areas in your life.” — Sheryl Sandberg
3. Permanence—the belief that the sorrow or pain of something that happened will last forever.
“Option A is not available, so let’s just kick the shit out of option B” — Sheryl Sandberg
Sheryl Sandberg‘s advice that anyone can keep in their back pocket for those not so awesome times in life
People who list the things they are grateful for are healthier and happier
2. Notes of Joy:)
Write down three moments of joy before you go to bed. Try it tonight
3. Just Fix it!
The old adage, there is no “I” in TEAM. For example, Sheryl Sandberg shares that at Facebook (or in your business life) nothing is someone else’s problem. When you see something that is broken, go fix find a way to fix it.
4.Work Hard, Play Harder.
Celebrate every moment of joy.
Where Do Other Women in Digital Stand?
Women in business have made strides considering that it was 1965 when the first women graduated from Harvard Business School. Today women make up 30 percent of the tech workforce yet women in business roles within tech companies are more likely to start at the entry level compared with men. Conferences like Pubcon are leaning into supporting the advancement of women in tech and reported having more women speaking last year than almost any tech related conference? #LeanIn with some of Pubcon’s women in digital speakers who recently spoke about their secrets to digital business success and share yours too!
The Digital Dish from Women in Tech
I caught up with a few of my favorite women in tech during an interview on The Digital Dish. Here are some examples and tips they gave on how to be resilient in the digital world (or personal!) and ignite a path to successful growth.
- Building a strong online presence. – Krista Neher
- Ask for help. – Heidi Richards Mooney
- Being mindful of my time. – Lisa Buyer
- What do you want? Figure it out, then ASK for it. – Krista Neher
What advice can you give to people starting out in Digital Marketing?
- Focus: Know where your niche is versus trying to be a generalist – Rebecca Murtagh
- It’s not a one and done- continue the education because you have to stay on top of it – Lisa Buyer
- What makes you unique? Position yourself and bring that to life. – Krista Neher
- Be confident on how you position yourself. – Krista Neher
- Find a model. Pick someone you think is successful and learn their secrets, find the right people to work with. – Heidi Richards Mooney
What apps, books or tips can you share?
Sandberg brings us full circle in resilience.
“Build resilience in yourselves. When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that YOU have the ability to get through absolutely anything. I promise you do. As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined,” Sandberg noted in her closing remarks.
You don’t have to be a digital marketing expert, the COO of Facebook or have a special mobile app to find your strength and discover joy. You had the power all along my dear.
How do you find resilience? Share it with us in the comments below or tweet it out to @lisabuyer!
Want more? Catch The Digital Dish on blab and stay tuned for the next topic.
Get To Know Our Blab Women in Digital Guests:
Krista Neher is a leading authority, trainer, educator, author and international speaker on Internet marketing and social media, and is currently the CEO of Boot Camp Digital, a leading provider of social media marketing training and consulting solutions.
Rebecca Murtagh is a consummate marketing professional and entrepreneur. Having influenced E-business strategy, website and internet marketing since the mid 1990’s, Rebecca has developed a reputation for identifying emerging trends and developing effective methodologies in search engine optimization, search engine marketing, social media marketing, social media optimization, internet, and integrated marketing.
Heidi Richards Mooney
Heidi Richards Mooney is Founder & CEO of Women in Ecommerce™ ~ an organization that empowers women with the tools, resources and skills to create a thriving online business. Mooney is also an author, coach, small business owner, internet marketing and social media expert
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